oracle of the unrested

happy demorial may!

2005-05-30T14:44:00.000-07:00

customers coming into the store today said there was a memorial day parade outside and that it was the most pathetic thing they had ever seen. some were so upset they voiced great frustration they had even taken the time to come out to see it. they told me how it was a shameful mess that had no music and did nothing to celebrate the spirit of memorial day.

well that got me thinking. if i were to celebrate memorial day with a parade how would i do it?

ok so lets break it down. what is memorial day about? its about remebering our fallen comrades who gave their lives for our country. How can we best portray this and make people remeber what this holiday is truly about?

get drunk while waving a 1/100's size american flag in the back yard while your wife is barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen making you corn dogs?

no. sorry florida. wrong answer.

A gallant parade is definately needed. One involving about 300,000 men and women dressed in uniforms from all divisions of the military. They would then be decked out in corpse paint and given latex wounds that would best emulate those aquired while in the ferocious tumult of war. we could add meal worms crawling out of latex bullet wounds, and maybe even lend some roles to those who are missing appendages. Of course we would add realistic looking stumps still fresh with blood spatter and string cheese flesh. Music would most definately be needed and so a score of taps, when johnny comes marching home again, and classical funeral requims could be blasted from the speakers hidden in the "black hawk down" float. All this while a thick plume of smoked pours out of the weakly spinning chopper blades atop. Another float could consist of a cross section of an asylum laden with combat wounded veterans shaking uncontrollably from post traumatic stress syndrome, gulf war syndrome, and the ill effects of agent orange.

i mean lets be honest with ourselves america, memorial day isn't about denying that war ended hundreds of thousands of lives, and ruined many more. Its about embracing that. So let's remind everyone how much we need war and how romantic it is and all the awesome things that come from it.

2005-05-18T18:24:00.000-07:00

today i found myself a bit frustrated from work so to cool off i decided to up my daily three mile run to 5 miles. i'd have to say it was actually pretty refreshing. I ran over the causeway bridge and into st. arman. The whole time i thought about how i would really like ot build back up to the shape i was in, in college. At one point i was training for a marathon and actaully maxed out some days at 15 miles. Mind you it was no small task and instead of running the marathon i eventually ended up getting deathly ill and not being able to run at all.

This time around i'm doing things as intelligently as possible as i now work at a health food store everything i need to stay healthy is at my disposable and 20% off at that (employee disc.).

So i really have no excuse. I've always had dreams of running the following races:

triathalon
marathon
ultramarathon
adventure race
eco challenge

Although, i'm pretty sure my hopes of running eco challenge are blown as the guy who hosted that race sold out to fox, and now does survivor the most non-survivalist show around. Anyway, i still plan on doing the other races. My biggest issue lies in cross training and how to accomplish it. I don't own a bike to begin with, and i've been lazy about not driving out to the ocean to swim. Swimming in a swimming pool won't suffice for the same reason training on a tread mill for a 5k doesn't work. So i now i guess it's time to buckle down and actually ask myself do i really want this or am i just exercising to keep my girlish figure? Hopefully my will power follows through and takes me to the next level of training. Otherwise i imagine i'll end up like one of those fucking retards on a segway blocking off the entire sidewalk at 1 mph. Seriously, what's the point? You aren't exercising, you aren't getting in shape. Get back in your car and continue being a lazy, sedintary human being because that's all the segway was made for.

2005-05-13T06:41:00.000-07:00

ok, so at around 11pm last night it was a normal trip to my friend maynard's house. My friend ash was in town and was driving me there (mostly because i hate driving). So we go to make a left hand turn from 41 onto proctor and i look up from my cell phone to see a mercedes barreling at us at probably about 60mph.

we were in the jeep. both cars are totally totalled totally. insane, is all i can say. it was totally crazy watching another car fly at you from the passenger side of the car and then feel the impact of the car shifting so hard it ripped the tires off the rims. then the airbags deployed at 34965834069856 miles an hour and burnt my cute little chin. although, the best thing is that a little burn on my chin and a slightly bruised knee is all that we suffered last night. how i was not made into a thin red layer on the inside of that car is beyond me.

Scott's tips for post-apocalyptic survival

2005-05-05T23:01:00.000-07:00

ok. so if you are even slightly into armeggedon, apocalypse, ragnarok, revelations, doomsday, or whatever you want to call it. You must have some clue that multiple sources perdict the world ending in 2012.

This being said I have decided to write a little guide for those not yet ready for a post-apocalyptic enviroment. Below i have illustrated the most imperitive actions to take before the countdown is over and we are placed in survival mode.

Step 1: Change your name to something more suitable to the situation. I have watched multiple movies and read multiple books on those surviving in a post-nuclear or wasteland setting and it seems 90% of post-apocalyptic survivors are named snake or axel. I would suggest something relating to a virulent reptile or random car part as these will be some of the few things that will withstand the weathering enviroment of a desert wasteland.

Step 2: Bring the right supplies. Don't waste your time packing cumbersome items such as food and water. The main things needed to survive the unforgiving future can be broken down into three simple items: 1. A completely all leather wardrobe. 2. An animal companion. 3. Assorted supply of exotic guns and knives. As for other supplies you'll run into them when you need them the most or at the last possible second before your stomach is about to cave in from hunger or your mouth is so dry it feels like you just took the saltine challenge

Step 3: Don't try to start a relationship. Yes, as much as you might hunger for the love of another dont waste your time starting a relationship. As you will find 99.9% of the time they will be ruthlessly killed by a renegade motorcycle gang. You will be left heartbroken and nothing but the stoked flames of scorching vengence shall burn in your soul.

so there you go. the rest is up to you.
don't thank me.
thank yourself.

2005-04-20T11:31:00.000-07:00

This month's 5 most essential metal albums as reviewed by me (in no specific order):

1.Bloodbath - Nightmares Made Flesh - Delectably chunky riffs tuned lower than the six feet of grave dirt Bloodbath's lead singer gurgles in his throat as he sings. Sporting a classical Papa Demon voice Bloodbath's returning vocalist, Mike Åkerfeldt, bends and twists his satanic growls eloquintly around every beat and riff of the song rather than trying to spew an epic ballad over an 18/4 beat pattern. Best of all the band's music has been featured in the upcoming film, Alone in the Dark, which definately has a soundtrack worth picking up.

2.Shade Empire - Sinthetic - Epic blackmetal that will grip your imagination and hurl it through a constantly shifting horizion of dark, and almost operatic images. Conjuring up a good deal of gothic atmosphere via sinthesizers as the band has so named them. Shade Empire has mapped beautifully brooding structures in the complex grid that is industrial-black metal.

3.Cephalic Carnage - Anomolies - Grindcore has finally gone experimental with this breakthrough album by our friends in the death-cult hailing from cleveland, OH. Cephalic Carnage journies into realms uncharted by other bands who lack the utilities, or perhaps the courage to tackle the use of supreme recording quality along with incorporating new vocals outside of the common grindcore/deathmetal barf barking. Not to mention guitar riffs and drum beats so brutal the sound is comparable to a shank through the ear and a blender in your brain.

4.Age of Silence - Acceleration - Completely genreless in the metal world, Age of Silence has taken things to the next level. Made up of ex-members of Arcturus, and Wind this is the dream team of metal bands. Acceleration relies on rudimentrary metal recipes such as the relentless staccoto of double kick as a backdrop, but then technically layers it with ineffably beautiful piano work bordering on the likes of a classical composition. This along with Arcturus' Nars Nedland's bardesque voice reaching tonal variations unlike any mere power metal mortal makes for a sound which will take the listener to a limitless world of fantasy, and intense musical enrapturement. All being said, this incredible ear candy leads to an audio orgasm that should not be missed

5.Invocation of Nehek - Self Titled - Bringing back bonecrushing breakdowns so heavy your subwolfer will collapse your lungs. This combined with vocalist Cyr's dynamic voice and its ability to posess him with the growl from the bowels to the screech of a thousand babies being crushed under the wheels of a steam roller and you have one of the greatest metalcore masterpieces to date. So, buy the cd, crank up the decibels, cave in your chest, and bleed from the ears.

stories of the ex-scott topic

2005-04-14T10:07:00.000-07:00

ok so i was assistant manager at hot topic in orlando before i came here. a company who masks ferociously corporate ethics behind the veneer of being semi-hip and rebelious in that 12 year old middle schooler kinda way. But alas i digress. My story involves a few famous musicians i interacted with while i worked there and how their lives and current finacial situations prompted me to take a look at my own future, and reconsider pursuing the life of a musician.

As i stated earlier i worked in hot topic, and adjacent to us was bananna republic. You would think the store would be run and kept up by those set in keeping only the most contemporary fashions and ideals, and for the most part it was minus one employee. i asked my manager about why this character seemed strangely familiar and still seemed capitivated by 80's fashion. Well, i came to find out the vest wearing 40+ mod man was actually the drummer from the now defunct flock of seaguls. i was amazed and appaled at the same time. i mean maybe i'm the only one, but i always imagined bands of the 80's, who made it somewhere, now resided in hovering platinium houses somewhere in the vicinity of beverly hill's skyline. But in all reality if their drummer had been employed at my store my "go-nowhere" 24 year old ass would have been his boss.

sadly, another band who i had been obsessed with from the 90's, which i'm sure not too many knew or even cared to know about, was the death metal band massacre(which also no longer exsists). well, one day while working my normal shift at the HT, in walks the lead singer of the band (kam lee). OMFG WTF!! my mind thought. I yanked on the shirt of my head manager at the time and told her to look who it was. she in turn responded with a nonchalant, "yeah, so, he's my bf." I was blown away. "well what does he do now i responed?" I mean surely a man who wrote some of the most amazing tech metal albums known in the grindcore/deathmetal scene now commands a legion of brutal blackmetal and deathmetal bands that reside in his infinitely massive recording studio of unholy devotion. unfortunately, the answered she returned with informed me that he now sold stereos at best buy, and was a totaly deadbeat in massive amounts of debt. also, he was paying child support to a woman he had a one night stand. devastated was all i could be, but it also gave me a better look at these people and the fact that they are merely on the same level as me not the demi-gods and avatars i had made them out to be in my youth.

"Certain individuals I like, but people as a whole suck! Nothing but talking monkeys with car keys." - Kam Lee, Massacre

reincarnation instant breakfast

2005-04-13T15:54:00.000-07:00

ok i'll be honest with you. i faked my own death to get out of joy division. see i really started getting into blackmetal, and well.... let's be honest being in the metal scene isn't easy when your band's name is joy division. so what better way to get into music's darkest genre then faking your own death. YES!!! satan pwns you!111oneoneone

2005-04-10T16:13:00.000-07:00

Giant Black Construction Worker: (sees me leaving my car for work) Yo dog, you punk rock or what?

Me: (slightly confused) Umm, yeah i guess i am.

GBCW: Yo, thats cool i dig that. You work at whole foods here? (points to building)

Me: Yup.

GBCW: Alright, cool then. I guess I'll see you there when i come in for lunch.

Me: Yeah, ok cool.

LATER THAT DAY....
Sitting outside of whole foods directing trucks to the loading dock.

GBCW: Yo, dog you paint you's finger nails black?

Me: (looking down at black fingernail polish on hands) Yeah. I guess so.

GBCW: Yo you gunna mind if i ask you a real personal question?

Me: Nah, go for it.

GBCW: You gay dog?

Me: (laughs) nah, dude, i very much so love women.

GBCW: Oh, yeah thats cool, It don't matter, even if you was I'd still be down.

Me: Oh ok, well thats cool. I mean yeah most of my friends and i wear it. But i could understand how you could think that.

GBCW: yeah I guess you punk rock kids do that kinda stuff huh?

Me: Umm, yeah i mean i know some pretty tough kids who wear black fingernail polish. But i could see how you could think it was effeminine.

GBCW: Yeah its just like gay dudes some are effeminine and some are tough guys like your friends.

Me: oh yeah, thats true. you're totally right on that.

(Awkward silence....finally, a cell phone rings)

GBCW: Yo dog I'm gunna answer this, but you think about why i asked you about your nails

(scott thinks profusely over the question, but remains baffled)

GBCW: Yo, you figured out yet why i asked you that?

Me: hmm, no I'm sorry. I'm totally confused.

GBCW: well....(looks around). I'm one of those tough guys.

Me: oh.

GBCW: I mean I dont like all guys. but you know. only ones that look like you.

Me. Oh. Well...thats cool i understand. I only like certian types of girls.

GBCW: Yeah well... I gotta go but do me a favor. keep this on the DL.

Me: Oh yeah no prob.

(cut to - scott posting this actual converstation verbatim on his blog.)

the end.

these are the facts.

2005-04-03T20:26:00.000-07:00

1. the most common killer in the U.S. to date is death.

2. 10 out of 10 people die everyday from death alone.

3. dying will be the death of you.

cybernet safari

2005-04-01T15:51:00.000-08:00

fuck a tv controller! Chips in my brain that can control the george forman grill? bring that shit!
in other news. some of my very favorite grindcore and deathmetal bands teamed up with some of my favortie pop stars. look for these on trl asap.

blogoblins and kin of...

2005-04-01T01:36:00.000-08:00

IS YOUR CHILD A GOTH?

Presented by St. Mary's Church

Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may have gone astray from the Lord. Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in. The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counselling, prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child.

-Frequently wears black clothing.

-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.

-Wears excessive black eye makeup,lipstick or nail polish.

-Wears any odd silver jewelry or symbols.

-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.

-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)

-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.

-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.

-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.

-Takes drugs.

-Drinks alcohol.

-Is suicidal and/or depressed.

-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.(This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)

-Complains of boredom.

-Sleeps too excessively or too little.

-Is excessively awake during the night.

-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.

-Spends large amounts of time alone.

-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)

-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.

-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.

-Misbehaves at school.

-Misbehaves at home.

-Eats excessively or too little

- Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this. -Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)

-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)

-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.

-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.

-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.

-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.

-Expresses an interest in sex.

-Masturbates.

-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.

-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.

-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".

-Claims to be a goth.